Reflections on a Rich Summer

After living in Atlanta for two years, I am still flabbergasted by how early schools start up again after the summer (the very beginning of August), having grown up beginning the new term at the end of the month, if not at the start of September. But as the ’23-’24 year has now begun for many, I suppose it is a good opportunity to reflect on the summer I’ve had.

It’s certainly been a good summer for music and networking, starting out with my brief visit to the national conference of the Association of Anglican Musicians (AAM) in June in Dallas. Although my AAM membership is still pending, I was engaged to play an organ recital on the wonderful Juget-Sinclair instrument at Christ the King Catholic Church on Monday of the convention week. Always mindful of my limited number of Sunday mornings off from my job, I decided to fly in on Sunday evening, the day before, expecting that I’d have ample time that evening and the next morning to prepare for the recital Monday afternoon. Of course my flight was severely delayed, due to weather. There’s nothing like trying to get your head into recital prep mode while starving and tired, but I was able to fit in a couple of hours of practice before collapsing into bed, feeling awful about the coming day. Things looked up the next morning, and after some seriously focused and efficient practice time, the concert itself went rather well (even after a cipher almost ruined everything, 45 minutes before showtime). There can hardly be a more intimidating audience than one of 200 organists and church musicians, but I managed to ride the adrenaline wave and was, unusually, happy with my effort. Afterwards, I spent a lovely time socializing late into the evening with dear friends and colleagues. It was a joy to spend time with the composer of one of the pieces on my program, Jessica French; I was so happy she was able to attend the concert. There were several other meaningful reunions, like with Richard Webster, my first director of music. I wish I could have stayed for the entire week of workshops and music, but even that small taste of the AAM-ish made an impact on me. While I enjoyed the American Guild of Organists convention last summer in Seattle, the AAM conference, being on a slightly smaller scale and catering specifically to Episcopal and Anglican musicians, felt more intimate and welcoming to me, personally. I participated in many stimulating and affirming conversations about the passion for good liturgy and music shared and valued by AAM members, and I felt reassured that the field of church music isn’t quite dead, yet, even amidst challenging professional relationships, dwindling church attendance, and movements away from ‘traditional’ music. I look forward to attending future conferences in the coming years.

Hard at work on the Aeolian organ in gorgeous Duke Chapel

The next highlight of my summer was returning to Duke University Chapel and the RSCM America Carolina choral residency for girls, teenage girls, and adults. Last year I went as composer, when the choir premiered my new set of responses, but this year I had slightly more responsibility as the course organist. Getting thrown back into the intensity of rehearsals and services that I miss so much from my time in the UK was absolute bliss for me. Even if I didn’t sleep very much and was on high alert from needing to be “on” during fast-paced rehearsals (with a few challenging accompaniments to play), I had such a good time. It was really great to work with Matthew Owens (I was relieved that I could keep up with him, for the most part!), and I got to hang out with some wonderful, like-minded colleagues. There were several aspects of the week I found especially inspiring: one, the Aeolian organ in the Chapel is rather gorgeous. It’s one of those instruments where every stop makes a beautiful sound, even if it may be hard to get the balance just right out in the room. I loved getting to spend so much time practicing on it each day. And then the number of attendees, both young and old, was encouraging. It was very special to make music with a choir 80-strong, half of which were under the age of 18. I spent quite a bit of time reflecting on my own association with RSCM America, first as a chorister, then an organ scholar, and now the real-deal organist. I suppose all that’s left is to be the music director, which I would love doing (I’ll give myself a few more years to build up my name and reputation, first)! Even with the long and intense days of rehearsal, there was plenty of opportunity for networking, usually over food and (many) drinks, and I made a number of connections with people that I hope to encounter again in the future. When I say networking, an aspect of that sort of socializing certainly is to make contacts for future professional engagements, or to ensure that my name ‘sticks’ in someone’s memory, but for me I also think of networking as making a meaningful personal connection with people whose rather niche interests overlap with my own; in other words, I think I actually made some friends, which I am finding harder and harder, the more distance I put between myself and my time at university!

Merton College Chapel on a sunny morning

The final trip of my summer, from which I just returned, was one my of semi-annual pilgrimages to the Motherland. The first order of business was singing in the wedding choir for my dear friends Maks and Sarah, and getting to visit Oxford for the first time. When meeting other wedding guests (or other singers/organists later on in my visit), I was grateful that, through shamelessly name-dropping the cathedrals where I was once organ scholar, I could add a bit of legitimacy to my own name and musicianship. Similarly to when organists ask each other who their conservatoire professors were, sharing your musical ancestry carries a good deal of weight when making an impression on a new acquaintance, for better or for worse. Sometimes it is about who you know, and since that’s part of the game, one may as well play it that way… Anyway, the wedding ceremony featured a bunch of choral bangers, which were a delight to sing. I also loved hearing very talented musicians (the best ever rendition of RVW’s ‘Love bade me welcome’, as well as fantastic organ playing) and also enjoyed the high church liturgy. The reception was great fun, and I managed to survive my first ceilidh. Whilst in Oxford, I managed to catch an organ recital and an Evensong, which let me see several of the college chapels. I also made a pilgrimage to Blackwell’s to spend £80 on various sheet music, and I enjoyed the Ashmolean Museum. On top of that, I got to spend time chatting with my wonderful hosts, AKMA and Margaret Adam, who are old friends from my childhood in Evanston. 

View of the stage of the Royal Albert Hall before one of the BBC Proms

After the various delights of Oxford, I made it to Essex to see my family there. Especially after spending a good deal of time with them towards the beginning of Covid three years ago, getting to Colchester feels like going to a home away from home, for which I am very grateful. After that, I headed to London to see a wonderful Prom at the Albert Hall (Yuja Wang and Belshazzar’s Feast with Klaus Mäkelä conducting - not too shabby!) and also had lunch with my dearest friends from Peterborough, David and Penny. Then it was on to Cambridge for a final couple of days.

Coe Fen Cows

Whenever I get to the UK, I try to spend a lot of time outside (far from Canadian wildfire air!); this time I went on the loop from Cambridge to Grantchester and back, through Coe Fen and the calm meadows. Other Cambridge highlights were seeing some of the beauty of St John’s College and briefly playing the chapel’s famous organ, which features in many of the recordings that I obsessed over when I was a younger choir nerd. I also popped down to London again to hear my colleague Andrew Senn’s wonderful choir sing evensong at St Paul’s Cathedral (a building which never fails to take my breath away). It was especially delightful to catch up with Simon, my colleague in Truro for a term, who put the organ through its paces. 

The beautiful chapel of St John’s College, Cambridge

I was struck by several conversations I had this summer with friends new and old about the state of our field today. Depending on your opinions, there are pros and cons to working in America vs England, like differences in remuneration, resources, liturgy and repertoire, traditions and history, architecture and acoustics, instruments, and more. As they say, the grass tends to appear greener on the other side! I have friends on both sides of the Atlantic who have burned out, sometimes directly from working for the church, rather than in secular music. These people are hugely talented musicians, and while they still love the repertoire and the tradition, the Episcopal Church or the Church of England or whoever it is has left them unsupported in critical areas. I can observe how some of these people who have transitioned to new career paths are happier; they have nights and weekends free like “normal” people, and they can choose to make music how and when they want, rather than resenting whatever set-up they may have known previously. I find it very sad that the church has failed these people, and I hope that those who have power in these institutions are able to sort out why this is a persistent and recurring problem for so many, and how to better address it. The complex webs of compassionate management, combined with pastoral care, combined with financial prudence and the maintenance of and caring for historic buildings, are a lot to juggle. On top of that, several denominations are taking their sweet time to commit to stances on various social issues; I find it hard to work for an institution that officially stands against some of my own personal views. However, I am not burnt out yet, and I still have perhaps naive hope that working for the church can be a choice that is rewarding and fulfilling, in the long run.

After bingeing an embarrassing number of Sex and the City episodes on the flight from London to Atlanta a few days ago, I arrived back to my own country, where climate change looms ever nearer with more frequent natural disasters, and politics are more fraught than ever. My first obligation at work the day I got back was to attend a training on how to react to active shooter threats. What a juxtaposition from my time in the UK! And while I adored seeing Oppenheimer, the threat of warfare and nuclear destruction is certainly still “a thing” for all of us in the world today. It all seems rather grim. I think for myself, I will aim to stay sane by throwing myself into music; I have a few recitals coming up this season that give me the chance to re-work dormant repertoire and learn new pieces, and I will try to hold on to what got me hooked on choral and organ music in the first place. As my hair begins to gray and a new decade looms imminently in a couple of months’ time, my feelings from this summer: of belonging, of inspiration, of affirmation, and of collegiality, should help keep my spirits high as I return from summer mode to the “real world.”